How You Can Keep Each Other Safe and Secure.
Why to pair up at all ?…“This longing for a safe zone is one reason we pair up…pairing up is about creating a safe place in which to relax and feel accepted, wanted, protected, and cared for…What ultimately counts for a couple is the ability to be there for one another, no matter what”.
Autonomy versus Mutuality
The autonomy model : a belief that each should stand independent of the other and should not expect to be looked after. Something like: “You do your thing and I’ll do my thing” or “You take care of yourself and I’ll take care of myself.” …When push comes to shove, each prioritize his/her personal needs over their needs as a couple…living according to an “If it’s good for me, you should be all right with it” type of agreement… This brand of autonomy doesn’t reflect true independence, but rather a fear of dependency. Instead of representing strength, it can represent weakness.